What can I do, whatever I say, whatever I do, and you won’t see me. The only girl you see is the girl who is “perfect” in everybody’s eyes. She got everything and she is everything I’m not. Pretty, slim, popular, rich and the worst she’s got YOU. Now I stand on the edge and you still won’t see me. One more step, then… then I no longer exist in this wretched world. The wind is howling, the waves struck beach of rocks. I hold the letter in my hand. One more step, the vicious in me tells me to take the step; the good tells me, one more try. Last time I listened to the good I embarrassed myself and got sad. I put my hand in my pocket and there lays two pictures, one on my family and one on you, I take the pictures and hold them in the same hand, in the other I hold the letter. Then… I take my last breath, hold the breath and take the step. Nothing can stop me now. I fall, just like I’ve fallen for you. There is a time and place for everything, here wasn’t my place and not with you.

Mamma fick reda på att morfar dog idag/igår. hon sa till och med igår att han såg mycket piggare ut. och sjukhuset vill skicka hem honom.

Varför måste alla dö nu, alla faller bara som brickor i ett spel, spelat av gott och ont. de sämsta spelare i tiden.

Min katt dog ju för mindre än en månad sen. med henne dog mitt hjärta, mina tårar är alldeles slut